do not afraid to walk this world alone ♥ - Nadya Alias

Monday, 7 October 2013

Happy birthday 张艺兴



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Happy birthday to my precious boy, 张艺兴. Honestly this is my first time celebrating your birthday as your fan, so i'd like to make this time a bit special from before. i'm sorry for being late to noticed your existence, i took around a year to finally decided who is my bias in exo and i'm very sorry for that. i'm very happy to say you're my bias, not just a bias to me but the ultimate one ♥ There so many things i want to share with you and unfortunately i can't because i'm just a fan.That's alright maybe someday we could spend times together in the future lol 

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For your second birthday as lay, i'm sorry i didn't give you a gift even i had the chance, it's not mean i don't want to give you support by giving you all kinds of luxurious gift but i believe you need something more important than that, you can buy all the expensive things if you want with your allowance so why i shall waste all my money for something like that. I'm poor enough so i'm sorry lol yixing, i know you only need our loves and supports, and i would like you to know that i'm here, i am one of them who always support you no matter what happens. I will be here, standing thousand miles away behind you.

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I'm not good with words, how i wish i can understand you but i don't know how to observe people, i envy other fans who can understand you very well more than i could. All this things lead me to the high insecurity in myself, ow i starting to feel useless as fuck right now. Although you can't see my loves for you at least i'm very sure you can feel it and that's more than enough for me.

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There is no reason for me to stop loving you, i love how you show your passion towards dancing either you're on or off stage. i love to see your healing smile, your smile could really heal others who are in gloom, your teasing dimple that i had been hang onto it until now, your humble attitude, how you'll always be the last one to get down from stages, how charmingly you would bow to your fans in every directions you can reach, you even risked yourself by silently escape from the van just to waves at them to show your appreciation and end up getting scolded by the guards seriously yixing, please stay and never change. i give you all my respect, you appreciate every one of us without caring who is their bias in exo. Your are smart and stupid at the same time seriously how a clueless unicorn like you can play the piano only using your ear, you're a stupid composer cause you forgot your own songs oh how cute is that, and when you dances, it seems i can't take my eyes from you. I don't know why everyone thinks kai is the best dancer in exo, they have you, i'm sure you are a lot better than kai. I can see from your eyes, how it'll turn sharp and aggressive every time you dance, your lip-biting habits ugh i want to kill you for that damn you look stupid you suck my soul i hate you idiot you're perfect in human forms, end.

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I still have a lot of things to learn about you, i still not perfect as your fan, but you're enough perfect for me. You called us heroes but in my view, you're our heroes, my forever heroes. I hope exo fans can realize how precious you can be. I love you yixing, no other words i can describe how much i love you in my life. The best thing that happened in my life is when you saw my placard, you look at it and you freaking smile at me, you look at me and show me your genuine smile ;___; you pointed at it and you gave me a thumbs up with you stupid rabbit hands, at that moment i didn't scream, i tip toe on my feet as high as i can for you to see, there's many thought came to my mind, why you, why you the only members that aware of my existence. You saw me, you saw my fugly mess face omg that was so embarrassing. You make me proud yixing, proud to be called as your heroes. I never ever regret to choose you and i never will, thank you, thank you so much. If it's not because of you, i'll not be tough like this. Thank you for being in exo, thank you for being born and thank you for being you ♥

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I don't want to make any promises saying that i'll stay forever as your fan, i afraid i will do exactly the same like i did to minho and shinee, back then i promised to stay forever as a shawol but day by day my heart start to changes. I'd afraid i'll make the same mistakes to you, and the boys. Now, as long i'm in the same path with you, i promise to give you my support and love. I hope you will continue to chase your dreams along with us, yes yixing, we are here for you. Remember this, we all love you.


Lastly, again, Happy birthday my changsha boy ;) 

Lot's of love, Nadya


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