do not afraid to walk this world alone ♥ - Nadya Alias

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Wake up dear,

"Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep till I was 18 and skip all this crap- high school and everything"

it's been quite long since the first time I was a teenager,and yes,this is one of the most tough things in life to handle. If you failed to handle yourself, you'll be shit. When I felt myself completely grown up and transform into a teenager, I slightly can feel that I changed slowly. From the innocent of me to the rude,a blur girl turned to be a nasty bad-ass and a dork into a plastic. Unfortunately,it took awhile to aware of this changes after I made a few mistakes in my life.

The fears of getting bullied by senior turned out to be me bullied myself. I'm the life ruin-er who ruin my own life. Not to mention how bad my mood-swings are, it's the worst feeling ever. It's like you want to smack all people around you, scratch all their faces, screaming out loud how you hate them and cut their necks then throw into the well. I told you, it was a horrendous.

 These days, I hardly fall asleep because I'm too frustrated and stressful. What I'd be in the future? What should I do to prevent myself from failing? How to please people? All this question always linger in my head until I fall asleep. But sometimes I can easily go to sleep,maybe that's the affect when my body was too tired and exhausted. Truly, I hate for being a teenager. I hate school,I hate guys,I hate grades,I hate losers and I hate books. I can act careless towards love life so let's skip this.

I wish one day, I could run away from all this and rush into the woods. It's gonna be awesome. Day by day I realized, I'm not myself anymore. I'm completely a fucking slut who acted like a cool girl even though I looked like a girl or a whore who fell in the rubbish can. Yep, that's how I describe myself. Far from better. I forgot my pure dream, I forgot what's my point of being a student.

Today, finally I woke up. Asking myself why am I acting like this. Hoping I can get all the answers. Starting today, I wish I'll be a better person in the future and ah....Happy 1st little May :)

lots of love, Nadya 

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