do not afraid to walk this world alone ♥ - Nadya Alias

Thursday, 23 May 2013

I will never be good enough

Sense of guilt seems to keep bugging me all the time. I never thought this will be worst until I shed my tears just now. Your happiness are making my life in difficult, distress, and near to offend. I never know why I've this kind of feeling towards you. I keep having grudge and envying you at the same time.

Things went wrong, but I don't know the reason why I still walking at the same path. Some part of it hurts me deep and it makes me hard to bear with it. I can feel the bitter when you suddenly brought up topics which is I trying hard to avoid.

Don't you see I'm in pain,my friend?.

I'm sorry for the truth that I still can't tolerate with you. I've tried, please don't put the blame on me because I've tried my best but I failed. You maybe wasn't aware with my inner feels, I'm hurt.

 Do you know how really desperate I can be? sometimes at one point, I just want to beg on your knees, crying in front of you, pleading you to realize all this. We are different, your characters didn't suit me right. But there's something for making me stay with you. I don't know.

Can you tell me why?. I can't leave you, and I never want to. I guess you already be part of me?. I want to keep this friendship until the  last breath of mine. Can you promise me something?. Try not too hurt me anymore? Please? :'(

I afraid I'd break into pieces in the middle of the road. Can you help me? although I'm actually begging you for this. I'm sorry for being close to fake when we are together.

I pray for us to be a good bestfriend . I'm sorry...
   lots of love, Nadya

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